Facing the Feedback Part 2: Ready for Readers?

My debut novel, Breaking Open, was published last week. (You can see the unboxing video here.)

Right now it's perched beside some of the books I've edited. 😍

Breaking Open alongside some other awesome books

Yup, it's pretty crazy. Especially because now people are actually reading it. And telling me what they think. 😱

In my last blog, I talked about facing an editor's feedback. Readers' feedback is different because this is your target audience, the people you actually wrote the book for. They don't have degrees in English or years of experience spotting plot holes. If they think it's bad . . . well, that's bad. So how can we mentally prepare ourselves for those reviews when they come in?

Admittedly, I'm talking to myself in this blog post. I need it. But hopefully it'll help you too, whether you're getting feedback on a WIP from a writer's group or feedback on your published book.

Dealing with the Positive Feedback

Who doesn't like positive feedback? Who doesn't like to be told that their work is amazing and incredible and so well written? Yes, it's external validation, but the plain fact is that it feels good. But more than that, writers want to know that their work touched their audience. They want to know that the book didn't bomb. When we hear from readers that our words hit the mark, we know we did a good job.

For example, I don't like making people cry, but when people tell me they cried reading my book (in a good way, not out of boredom), that makes me happy. It means my words touched them, and that's so important in a good book.

So what happens when you get not-so-positive feedback from readers?

Dealing with the Negative Feedback

There are two reasons why negative feedback is important.

1. It keeps you humble. And as humility is something that quickly leaks out of successful people, the not-so-positive feedback can actually be looked at as a gift. It keeps you grounded. It keeps you grateful for the positive comments. It keeps you in a state of growth.

   But don't get me wrong. If the feedback is outright rude or abrasive, just delete. It says way more about the person than about your writing. Give a sweet smile (or bare your teeth, up to you) and then carry on.

   
   

2. Assuming the feedback is constructive and not "Your book was dumb. I used it to roast marshmallows," then once the sting settles, you can actually learn from it.

   Andrea Wetherald talks about this in her book Mindful Improv Thinking. (Check it out here. Yes, I edited it, and yes, you should read it. So many amazing concepts in there.) She calls it "listening beyond your reaction." Our instinct upon hearing difficult feedback is to become defensive. But if we can listen to the other person past our initial reaction, we might reach a shocking conclusion: They may be right! And that can only lead to you improving as a writer.

   
   

   Or, sure, they might be wrong. Reading is super subjective, and their opinion isn't the One Truth. That's when you have to exercise this mindset:

   
   

Your Book Is Not for Everyone

You know how, in the beginning, you had to get clear on your reader, your target audience? (At least, I hope you did.) You know why that is?

Because if you're trying to please everyone, you please no one. (Side note: I once asked an author who their audience was, and they responded, "Anyone who will read it." Cue laugh/sob reaction.)

Let's face it: Not everyone will like your book. Not only is that "okay," but it's SUPPOSED to be that way. Would you be offended if a forty-year-old businessman didn't like your YA fantasy? I hope not—he's not your target audience.

Now, what if a seventeen-year-old said they didn't like it? That'll hit harder because that's who you're trying to reach. Their opinion matters more.

This is the time to realize that even within your target audience, your book won't connect with everyone. People are different. Even within a specific audience, people are different. That's normal.

I'd only take it to heart if, like, the majority of your YA readers feel your book is bad. Cuz yeah, that would be bad. 😅

Bottom line: Everyone has opinions. Give each one the amount of time you feel they deserve, but at the end of the day, come back to this truth: You wrote your book for a reason. You stayed true to yourself. You did the best you could. You can't ask for more than that.

All right, what's the worst piece of feedback someone ever gave you? Let me know in the comments below!

And if you want to check out my book, you can find it through the publisher or Amazon. Cheers!